The little picture. I was lost there because of habits and who and what I surrounded myself with.
Have you ever felt that way?
Not that these were necessarily bad just leading me to the same states of mind and life experiences.
Looking back, I realize that no one was telling me the stuff I really needed to know.
I’d spin having the same thoughts, avoiding conflicts, obsessing over issues, procrastinating in the same areas.
I admit that I felt that Work was suppose to tell me how to be successful in life. How to develop the right capabilities to progress forward. To give me the foundation to be happy and enjoy my life.
That’s a lot of pressure on something where that’s not its main agenda, isn’t it.
This stuff started to reveal itself to me when I read the Art of Happiness at Work by the Dalai Lama. That led to more reading, study, and evolved into having real life teachers and guides in my life.
You’ll find below 10 important lessons about stuff that I’ve discovered since leaving the corporate world.
Stuff No One Tells You at Work
1. Don’t believe everything you think.
If you do, please be cautious. Take a moment now to inventory some thoughts you’ve had about yourself today. I guarantee you’ve had some negative thought about your body or appearance. Something you think you’re failing at.
This is made up. Totally subjective. Every experience is like this. Learn to identify and challenge unhealthy thought patterns and feel more at ease.
2. Balanced thinking leads to balanced living.
My world used to revolve around work. I thought about it incessantly. It consumed my conversations, my headspace, my whole life. It did teach me I can be a great meditator if that much focus can be had while doing a multitude of other things. When you step back and create balance in how you think, it’ll show up in your life.
3. Your mind is naturally peaceful. A persistent stressed mind is a BIG warning sign to take action.
You don’t put up with it. It’s not part of your DNA. This state is not ok. It’s as bad as a terminal disease. In fact, if you look at medical studies, these minds can be the root cause for major illnesses. You must have doable ways to manage stress and anxiety and use them.
4. Success is about what you give not what you get.
Defining what success means is key to making it show up in your life. And, you’ll find sustainable success always ties back to a good feeling. And, good feelings arise when we are taking positive actions which benefit others (including ourselves). Showing patience, expressing love, giving to those in need.
5. Invest your time in developing an image of yourself you’re proud of and step into it.
Get clear on how you normally see yourself. Step back and observe her. Is that the image you want to walk around in your life with? Or, can you come up with something better? This is practical to do. You just need to know the steps and commit to practicing.
6. Focus first on how you’re showing up before doing, doing, doing.
Wow. I’ve made a lot of action plans and to do lists. And, none of these for a moment considered how I wanted to show up to do those things. Totally backwards thinking. You’ve got to go the other direction. Invest your energy in how you want to show up and it’ll make everything easier.
7. Uncertainty is certain. So, why not reframe every experience as an opportunity and stay in control.
We constantly fool ourselves not preparing for uncertainty to arrive. We don’t even prepare for our own death which is absolutely certain and could be today. If this is the case, isn’t it wise to have a practical strategy to manage uncertainty that will definitely come.
Like office politics. Great!
Here’s an opportunity to practice patience and compassion. If you didn’t have these how else would you ever develop these beautiful minds.
8. Decide at a high level what you want to say yes to and no to in your life.
Stand strong. Want to spend time with people you love. Say YES. Want to take care of your health. Say YES. Done with stressing yourself out and bringing others around you down. Say NO. Time to stop rushing around every morning and getting overloaded with commitments. Say NO.
9. True confidence arises when you’re relaxed.
Confidence is a sense you can figure things out not that you know everything. You don’t have to do, do do and then wait for it. Actually, it’s a good recipe to not feel it. You’ve got to fully immerse yourself in a confident mindset and look out at what needs to be done from the place. That means you’ve got to know how to put yourself in this state of mind which is 100% trainable.
10. Always ask yourself why you’re engaging in things in your life.
You feel bad when what you’re doing is not aligned to a meaningful reason for why you’re doing it. Play with this. If you do feel bad about something, ask yourself why you’re doing it. I’ll guess it’s not compelling to you or it’s not aligned with your values. If you experience bad feelings a lot, I strongly encourage you to do some work around your values.
You’ve got 10 things now that perhaps is stuff someone has never told you either. Let them sink in. In fact, don’t even really think about them a lot. Trust the process. You’ll naturally start seeing these things arise. These lessons will start moving you towards a stronger foundation for a happier, more enjoyable life.
I’d love to know which one resonated with you the most. Please write me or share in the comments.
This is important stuff. Glad you’re taking the time to go through it.
Warmly,
Jennifer
#4 success is what you give not what you get resonated with me. I think I need to redefine my definition of “success”to include that statement and some other adjustments. Previosuly my definition was way too image focused.
Thanks for sharing Lauren. It really is a reverse in thinking isn’t it. Glad it resonated with you!