Gandhi followed a wise method called Satyagraha to achieve peace without violence. It was systematic. You can imagine how many so-called “difficult conversations” he engaged in. And, these conversations, inspired by Satyagraha, led to greater peace in this world and most importantly within Gandhi. He proved love-in-action transforms.
Love is always the answer.
Gandhi did something radical. He saw the truth, the more important vision, behind seemingly difficult situations. He believed in that vision and moved toward it with love.
You can see this in the actions of Martin Luther King. It isn’t a surprise King studied Gandhi’s example. He even traveled to India in 1959 to learn more about Gandhi’s method and principles.
I study Gandhi as well because his courage to look within himself and to love despite what he saw is inspiring and life-changing.
Love always feels good.
So, I encourage you to make the choice to feel good about that conversation you’re avoiding. Who knows – it may even be with yourself. Lean into the discomfort. It’s telling you this is important and you’ll grow toward that higher version of yourself – fully calm and confident.
Once you choose love, you’re back in the creator role. You’ve regained the ability to see beyond the ordinary situation at hand. You see the valuable outside edges of the old limiting picture you’ve held in your mind.
Try this simple process and observe the results you achieve. Gain your own conviction.
How to Transform Difficult Conversations
1. Re-Name the Conversation
It’s super easy to avoid a difficult situation. Who wants to have one? I don’t. And, then you’ve got to wonder why you name it a difficult conversation. Is that what it really is? What if you named it a heart-to-heart, a learning experience, a meaningful conversation.
Pick your own name. Ask yourself – How do you have that [fill in your name]? Take in how that changes your mindset. And, think, all you did was change the label.
2. See the Bigger Picture
Lift yourself out of the details and rise to a fuller view of these conversations. Take a moment. Check what’s really important. Is it to get buy-in, share feedback, express your view, agree actions, resolve a conflict?
If you keep going, you’ll find your peace of mind is ultimately important. And the same’s true for everyone involved.
So, why not see conversations transpire where you feel peaceful throughout. You arrive at a peaceful conclusion. There’s a calm and trusting environment. The conversation runs smoothly. And, you’re checking in on the needs of the other people involved. You act from your heart.
3. Move with Ease
When the time comes, physically enter these conversations in a relaxed way. The way you move matters and impacts people. Let go of crossing your arms, feeling tense in your shoulders, and playing with your hair. Focus on the person in front of you. Keep your shoulders back and your chest open. Relax your face. Remember – breathe.
Not only does this work, it feels great!
Any conversation is an opportunity to put your love-in-action. And having the courage to do that, always leads to good feelings. You can simply walk through this method in your mind any time the need arises. And, then enjoy a different experience during these conversations.
What’s one tiny step you can take today to transform an upcoming conversation? Please take the insight you’ve gained here and act on it. That’s the only way things will change.
Appreciating your courage.
p.s. Eknath Easwaran wrote a profound book on Gandhi where he detailed Satyagraha as a method. I highly encourage you to read it to learn practical ways to put love-in-action with yourself, in your relationships, at work, and in your community. I’ve added a link here to the book.
p.s.s If you feel yourself resisting this approach, check in. What’s holding you back? Get clear on your objection and do something about it. Glad to connect on this if you wish.