A few weeks ago, a friend shared a story with me that felt like deja-vu.

She’d been promoted quickly to a CEO role which was wonderful from the outside.

Yet, she found herself struggling with the high level of responsibilities and feeling a lack of training for such a leadership role.

Like me, she was introduced to a coach through work. It started off well as she was able to hone in on some development areas.

However, it was a short-lived experience because the company didn’t continue to invest in supporting her like that.

Her lifestyle became even more rushed and she’d just collapse in the evenings and try to recover during the weekends. Her time with friends declined and her stress and anxiety grew.

And, she said something to me that made me step back and pause.

She wished that someone would’ve noticed (like if that coach were around) and called out how she kept going down the rabbit hole.

I paused because I knew this experience way too well.

I can’t believe I’m telling you this. 

I’d be happy that a loved one couldn’t spend time with me over the weekend because then I could work. Pretty much stay in my hole. 

When work becomes too much, it’s like you go down that hole and can’t seem to realize you’re in it. Then, the hole becomes your whole world. And, sadly becomes way too familiar.

So you stay and create more struggle rather than getting out of it quickly.

Do you know the feeling too?

If you do, please stop right now. Start crawling out if you can.

This is not normal to persistently feel. You’re meant to be in a more peaceful place. And, please be gentle. It’s not something to judge yourself about.

It’s simply an unfortunate habit.

We’ve got to support each other when things start going sideways like this.

So, I propose this to you.

Can we virtually make a pact with each other?

We will help ourselves and anyone else we notice going down the rabbit hole.

How to get out of the rabbit hole

Step 1

Get super familiar with what being in the rabbit hole feels like. As if you could go inside yourself and pinpoint exactly where you feel the negative emotions. What do these feel like? Which body parts feel them? Do you feel pressure? Does it affect your breathing? Which emotions are you experiencing?

Really pay attention because you need to know what it feels like so you notice it when it arises again. It’s your warning bell.

Step 2

Scan your team members, your family members, friends to see if they’re showing any signs. Then, take a mental note of what it is that’s flagging this to you. Even better, make a list of the red flags because it’ll be a good reminder.

Step 3

Identify someone you trust and tell them you need their support. Explain to them how you experience the rabbit hole and the signs when it’s occurring. Give them full permission to be direct with you if signs start appearing.

Step 4

Make a 5-minute recurring, weekly appointment with yourself. Check in. Take action.

Where are you – in or out of the hole? Do you see anyone else around you in the hole? What tiny actions could you take to help yourself? or someone around you? Do you need to reach out to the person you trust for help? Who else might be able to help?

Taking these actions can profoundly improve the quality of your life experience and that of others around you. The key thing is making the choice – not to put up with the rabbit hole. To come out and see the bigger picture.

You can start today right where you’re at.

So, are you in?

I’d love to know because I’ll celebrate your wisdom and compassion for yourself and others. And, I’d be glad to share any more personalized tips with you.

Write me back or leave a comment on the blog.

Know your example will inspire others.

I’m proud we can work together like this.