Don’t you love when you feel relaxed and at ease with things.
Like when the end of a project comes, you’re on Day 3 of your vacation in Italy, it’s year-end and most businesses are shut-down, or you get lost in a great conversation.
Just imagine this ease is possible through the power of your mental habits. These external events never were the source of your peace of mind. It was always you.
You overcame the 4Os – overexcitement, overcommitment, overwork, and overwhelm.
You can enjoy these moments of relaxation more often in your life simply through concentrating on the wish to have them. This is made even easier when you can easily call out your 4O moments when they arise.
4O moments are like seeing a scary movie.
You go into the dark theatre knowing it’s going to be scary and that’s what plays out. And, you know that it’s only a movie, so you can let it go and laugh about the situation afterwards.
In the same way, you go to work expecting the 4Os and you get them.
Your natural desire to learn gets amped up and you commit to more things than you can do (even making up new things for yourself). So, the solution is you work super hard to meet expectations (especially your own) and end up feeling totally overwhelmed because it’s all too much.
You keep going into the scary movie and let it keep looping.
And, then you sit and ask yourself why this is happening. Now you know.
Please take this in the kind way it’s meant because it’s coming from someone that’s dealt with the negative minds the 4Os bring and who experiences now that life doesn’t have to be like that.
Because the 4Os is a mere pattern, it doesn’t have to keep looping.
To move past this, try this simple method below to increase your awareness and create a new wish for an easier way to move through your life.
4-Step Method to Overcome the 4Os
1. Call out Your Past 4O moments
I hope you’re noticing that I keep stressing to name negative patterns in all my posts. This is what mindfulness is about and how it can help you. It’s crucial to understand the source of your negative feelings. Once you start seeing patterns, it’s a lot easier to let go as they aren’t part of who you are.
So, start reflecting on times when you got looped into the 4Os. Ask yourself some powerful questions. When and where does this happen? How often? What’s the positive intention you have? What’s the impact it has on others around you? You can even break an example down on a piece of paper and map out how you fall in each phase.
You can use this worksheet here to do this simple 4Os identification activity.
2. Tell Yourself When You’re in the 4Os
Now that you’re more clear on what’s happening, you’ll notice when you fall into the 4O pattern. It’s enough to begin saying to yourself gently “I’m having a 4Os moment”. No judgement, no blame, simply an observation.
I’d recommend keeping track in your calendar how often the 4Os arise. You may put a special symbol or marker in it (like 4Os) to note the times and days. Over a month, you’ll accumulate a lot of insight. Go back and review and build your awareness of what triggers you and how frequently this is happening.
3. Declare your Wish to be at Ease
Everything starts with a wish. What is it you strive for? What are you working so hard for? In most cases, it’s to be at ease with life. So, make that wish super clear to yourself. A wise person shared with me this week – it’s not that we’re too busy and have no time. It’s that we don’t have the wish to be something different.
Articulate this wish for yourself. And, then consider what choices you’ll need to make to support that wish. It may help to start at this source – the overexcitement. What will you say yes to and what will you say no to?
4. Allow Yourself to be at Ease
This is a hard one I know. But, It’s ok to wish to be at ease even if it seems contrary to what everyone else around you is doing. That’s where all your confidence, creativity, and courage lie. That’s the special place where you become the person you want to be and how you want to show up for others.
Start practicing saying to yourself clearly – I allow myself to be at ease. Look in the mirror and say it to your face. Chant it to yourself when you’re commuting. And, do your best to make this voice come from your heart not your head. That’s when you know you really mean something.
Moving Forward
The recognition of the role the 4Os plays in your life is key. Really do some work on this. When you do, the 4Os don’t seem so solid and you can move through them.
Then, you’ll know when you hit the 4Os moment-by-moment. With this increasing wisdom, you’ll be ready to start fulfilling the wish you’re making to be at ease.
I encourage you to take one minute today to identify how you experience a 4O moment. And, please share in the comments how you felt to have that recognition.
I’d love it if you shared this 4O wisdom with others that need it. Everyone deserves to be at ease in their lives.
Peace.
Jennifer
