It took a long time for me to say this out loud.
For most of my finance career, I felt a sense of fear quite often that I was failing. I felt like I wasn’t as smart as everyone else and couldn’t get things done as efficiently.
Have you ever had that feeling that someone will call you out one day and expose your weaknesses?
I deeply dreaded the day this would happen. And guess what, it did.
It was a blessing because it opened up my world. I realized that moving right into fear let me go out the other side to peace. The place I really wanted to be.
Mysteriously, things didn’t fall apart. In fact, I became determined to move towards peace more and more. Feeling momentarily lapses in this fear were no longer good enough.
The situation is that when you’re afraid to fail it triggers unpleasant feelings inside. There’s no sustainable external remedy for these. You need to consider these unpleasant feelings to be like the sirens on a police car. There a warning to do something as soon as possible.
Your fear is not meant to sit and grow. So, why not let it trigger a “feel good” strategy rather than your persistent “feel bad” strategy.
Having a strategy to manage fear is crucial, a must-have in your life.
And, there should always be time to make yourself peaceful.
If not, check in with yourself to see what’s important about continuing to feel bad. Our minds are crazy and play tricks so checks like these are helpful.
Simple Strategy to Use Fear of Failure to Work for You
Below are key steps to transforming your fear. Find a place where you feel comfortable (your home, outside on a walk, in a quiet room) to practice this strategy.
- Call out fear of failure when it arises – say clearly “My mind is feeling afraid to fail”
- Take a few long deep breaths and notice where the fear is arising in your body
- Look at the situation and briefly write down details about it that’s causing this feeling
- Ask yourself – what is the positive intention of this fear (what does it want for you that’s good)?
- Imagine this positive outcome – what it looks like, sounds like, feels like (the more details the better)
- List out 3 ways you can meet that positive intention without feeling bad
- Quickly see how each of the 3 ways would play out and pick the one that makes your heart the happiest
Now, take action and start moving to a more positive place.
Once you embrace your fear, it’s easy to make it work for you. It’s been there all along to help you. Putting in place a simple, reliable strategy to move to a peaceful place will make everything work better.
Next time you feel fear arising, try out this strategy. And, I’d love to hear what it felt like to have a process to manage these unpleasant feelings. Please share in the comments.
You’d be surprised how many people you interact with every day are feeling the same way. Given that, feel free to share this with someone who might not expect it and really benefit.
Let them feel your warm heart.
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