I’ve experienced that every problem is in reality two problems after years of study, contemplation, meditation, and observation of my clients and close circle.
The one we normally focus on is the outer problem (that’s what I’ve done most of my life).
When it comes to being happier doing what you’re doing, this could be feeling like you need to change your job to do that. Maybe it’s thinking that if you could get the right team in place things would be better. Or, simply ticking everything off your To Do list.
These are external conditions that require practical external solutions. And, we can make progress. Yet, they’re not fully controllable.
What’s easily skipped is the major problem – the second problem – your unpleasant feelings.
You’ve got complete control over solving your inner problem of feeling unhappy.
So, it’s key to ask yourself.
Do you know how to solve your inner problem?
And, if the answer is no, contemplate some choices you have at this moment.
- Accept and push down the bad, unhappy feelings
- Feel hopeless
- Continue to rely on uncontrollable external conditions to make you happy
- Take control and create your own sustainable happiness
This doesn’t mean you do nothing to improve your external conditions.
What you do is focus on what you control first and then work on the outer situation.
This will make you happier, increase your peace of mind, and allow joy back into your life.
And, I can guess if you’re like I was, you’re not exactly sure how to solve these inner problems.
Don’t worry. I can help.
As a beginning, you can start to notice the existence of the two problems.
So, the next time you feel like you’re not happy or satisfied with what you’re doing, check in with yourself. Separate out the inner and outer problems. Write down how you could solve each.
If you draw a blank for the inner problem, you’ve got options. This can be resolved through a variety of techniques including visualization, meditation, core alignments, letting go processes, modeling, writing activities, and more.
One of the easiest things you can do is start spending time with others that know how to live in a happier way. That’s what helped me without putting lots of effort forth – because it gave me hope and an example.
That would’ve been impossible if I continued to surround myself with other stressed-out, anxious people who haven’t learned yet how to manage these emotions.
So, if you’re done with feeling disappointed with yourself and others and want to be happier, start taking action on the inner problem.
Learn reliable methods to manage your unhappy feelings.
It’s totally doable and essential as the kind human being and leader that you are.
Please share if you noticed the two problems arise too.
And, way to go!
So many people go throughout their whole lives and never realize this phenomena.