Coming home from a Kundalini yoga class, my Uber driver announced to me that he needed a life coach.
Not at all what I expected him to say.
We proceeded to have quite the conversation about how he wanted to organize his life and become healthier.
Bless him because I was getting quite bold and he could realize that there were some choices he knew he needed to make. And, he was dancing around them.
It reminded me how challenging it can be to make decisions in our lives. Even if they’re going to help us.
Our thinking habits hold us back and we stay in the same place.
Years ago, I came up with a new decision strategy because frankly my old one gave me a headache and led to me worrying all the time.
Always giving me that anxious feeling of indecision.
And, it works well because it starts with having a relaxed mind rather than the anxiety ridden one I was use to.
Now, I share it with my clients.
Because our lives are created based on the decisions we make.
Maybe you’re deciding what to do in your life over the next few years, what kind of role you want at work, how you want your career to progress, how to spend more time with your family and friends, what it takes to balance your life out, how to take that new project forward.
You can ease your mind and get things done by simply adopting four practical steps of this decision strategy.
1. Define Your Decision Well
Do I stay at my current job?
This is an example of a closed question. It prompts black-and-white thinking. Open things up by first opening up what it is you’re making a decision about.
For example, that same question could be – What kind of job/career is meaningful to me? How do I want to contribute on a daily basis? Who do I need to become to make my current role meaningful?
2. Layout 3 to 5 Options
Not 2 and not 6. Stick with 3 to 5.
Why?
Because 2 gets you stuck in the black and white thinking mentioned above. Having more than 5 is a recipe for overwhelm. When you define your decision well, it’s open enough to create at least 3 options. If not, you know to go back and work on defining things better.
3. Align with Your Values
Ask yourself for each of these options – does this option align with my core values?
If it’s a no, you know that’s not an option for you. If it’s a yes, you’re ready to go on to step 3 below.
If you’re sitting there wondering, what are my values? I’ve been there.
Please understand I’ve got to say you can’t be vague or uncertain about your values. It’s a recipe for bad feelings. Go here to do some valuable work on them.
4. Visualize Your Options
Adopt this step as quickly as you can. You’ll gain insight like you’ve never had before. Really walk through each option imagining what it would be like if that was your final decision. It’s like daydreaming. This taps into your intuition and deeper wisdom. If you’re new to the skill of visualizing, you can go here for help.
Deciding is a fluid and beautiful process.
Remember always start with a relaxed mind.
When you’ve got a concrete steps that work, it makes the whole process easier.
So, enjoy creating your life one decision at a time.
Warmly.
