Over the past few years, I’ve gradually built up a meditation practice. It’s been incredible to witness how much I talk to myself. I see how the quality of my self-talk impacts the quality of my daily experiences. People I encounter. Work I do. The vibe I share.
My teacher often says how easy it is to get distracted by this unfocused self-talk. Even one minute of focused concentration is a great sign. One minute!
So, it’s important to check.
How often are you talking to yourself? And, what’s the quality of that dialogue? Are you ok with it?
This can be one of most courageous and meaningful conversations you have with yourself. Especially since you know you’re having it. Imagine you’re a coach asking yourself these questions. You’re observing yourself as the client. Pay attention to what you notice.
If your talk is all positive, I’m sure you feel very grateful for that.
If it’s not where you’d like it to be, there’s so much you can do about it.
Here are some important reasons why it matters to look deeper into your self-talk – good or bad.
3 Important Reasons Self-Talk Matters
1. Influences Your Energy
The tone you take with yourself flows right into the energy you’re putting out. It doesn’t matter if you feel you’re hiding it. It’s showing up on your face. It’s in the way you move. It’s coming out in the words you speak out loud. Getting this talk to a positive place helps you grow and create.
2. Plays a Role in Your Performance
If you’re at all like me, I use to beat myself up a lot. I’d say things to myself like – I’m not as smart as other people. I’m slow. I’m inefficient. I should prioritize better. Someone’s going to figure out I’m not really a high performer. This self-talk was completely exaggerated when I took on roles and responsibilities outside my comfort zone.
When you let these types of thoughts jam up your mind, there’s no space to give the right attention to the work itself. Here’s the good news. Once you become aware, you can move forward to a much better experience. You can start to reduce it and then replace it with kind words. This shift helps you meaningfully do your work and get to a better outcome.
Suppose you said to yourself instead.
You’re doing the best you can with the resources you have. Progress is better than perfection.
3. Indirectly Impacts Others
Have you ever noticed that you pick up certain phrases from people after spending time with them? It’s unconscious. The same is true with your non-verbal language. If you’re speaking kindly or unkindly to yourself, it’s certain it’s flowing out to the people around you.
Take a peek at your team, your family, your friends. What are they reflecting back to you?
Being aware of all your self-talk will naturally help you begin to reduce those parts that are aren’t working for you. In time, you’ll be able to replace them with empowering, loving language.
Please be kind to yourself. You deserve to be talked to in a loving way.
And, if you’re self-talk is mainly positive, let this inspire you to do more of it.
I admire you. It took me a long time to figure this one out.
I’d invite you to notice your self-talk on your next commute home from work. Take a few minutes and write down what words or phrases struck you. Make a commitment to be more aware.
Please feel free to share any insights in the comments. I’ll be here to answer any questions or to talk it through more with you.