It was quite a transition to go from a finance career to the world of coaching. 

Everything was so different. From the way my new peers lived their lives to the types of things we worked on as part of our sessions. And, this odd question kept coming up during the training. 

Who do you want to be? 

Hmmm. I definitely got some long silences when I asked clients this question. Even for myself, I thought it sounded a bit bizarre. One day it dawned on me that this is about the most basic and valuable question you could ask yourself.

This question is not about being an accountant, a mother, a friend, a partner. It’s about the internal qualities, you want to reflect in the world. Who do you want to be? Think qualities (adjectives) – the only thing you can control. 

Kind, wise, thoughtful, courageous, peaceful…

Years ago, that was happy for me. Now, it’s evolved into peaceful.

Being able to answer that one question, gives you a clear direction to move forward in a do-able way.

 A Simple Process to Answer the Question –  Who do You Want to Be

  1. Let go of thinking you’ve got to be a fixed role. Get fluid vs. being stuck. 
  2. Write a list of words (adjectives) down about ways you could live your life.
  3. Select the one word that if you embodied that would fulfill the other words.

Of course, you can be several of these words. It helps for your concentration and sense of progress to select one. Just suppose your word was creative, see how it fits into your life. How do you dress creatively? engage with others creatively? eat creatively? move creatively? work creatively? spend time creatively? 

For example, I ask myself these things all the time when I contemplate being peaceful. 

Whatever you want to be, let your whole life become infused with this. Deeply reflect on how it brings meaning to your life. Get quiet. Slow your mind. Go inward and bring your focus to the level of your heart.

Ask yourself – how will this quality lead you in the right direction? 

Knowing who you want to be is great to get clear on now. It’ll save a lot of wasted time feeling uncertain, distracted, lost, or even depressed. And, you don’t need to worry about it being perfect. It can evolve just like it did with me. The key is starting. 

If you feel comfortable, please share in the comments which word/quality you focused on. And, please pass this along to anyone you feel could benefit from this point of view. 

Wish you a beautiful day.