One day I realized the word calm slowly made its way into my vocabulary (and even more importantly – my heart).
I spent a lot of time focusing on how to find some peace in my life. And, I discovered little steps happily taken moved me in the direction I wanted to go.
Going back and forth from Sydney, I use to stop at kikki.k in the Singapore airport. It’s a wonderland of journals, notebooks, pens…all that stationary stuff I adore. I picked up several inspiring books – Happiness, 101 Dreams, Wellbeing, Goals. These were great with all their quotes, insights, self-awareness exercises.
This was one of the happy little steps.
Many came before and many followed and all led to the word calm. I’d finally found my replacement for busy and a beautiful array of role models to show me the way.
It’d been unbearable at work for people to constantly say to me “I know you’re busy.” I inwardly cringed whenever I heard that word because for me it meant I was radiating a negative state of mind.
The worst part is the impact you have on others. There’s nothing like your negative state of mind being reflected back to you by people you care about.
So, I ultimately chose calm over busy and it changed my life.
If you want to enhance the positive impact you have on yourself and others, contemplate these 7 things and find your way to calm leadership in all areas of your life.
1. Calm leaders don’t lose sight of where they’re going and why
A calm leader knows what’s her main mission in life and why it’s important to her. She doesn’t laugh at this concept as being woo woo. She sees it as the most fundamental question to keep asking herself and answering.
Because of this clarity, she won’t find herself in situations that don’t support her main aim – whether it’s a job, relationships, conversations, hobbies. She goes back to what’s most important to her and takes the wisest decisions she can.
2. Calm leaders don’t let negative mindsets rule
A calm leader knows what to do if negative mindsets arise. She’s got many techniques to manage through them so that she can bring herself back to calm. There’s never a time she feels so bad and just allows herself to keep concentrating on how bad she feels. She’s empowered and takes action to heal her mind.
Taking responsibility for her mind is a must-do because she knows that her example affects everyone (her family, friends, team members, and so on) . Nothing is more upsetting than her bad feelings creeping into people she loves.
3. Calm leaders don’t react to situations
A calm leader knows times will arise where she”ll be faced with uncertainty. Something will happen she doesn’t want or she won’t get what she wanted. She’s realistic and knows she cannot control everything.
At these times, she gracefully pauses and checks in with herself. In fact, she knows in advance broadly the situations that could occur and has mental strategies in place. She doesn’t get down if she messes up once in a while. It motivates her to do better in the future.
4. Calm leaders don’t support busy habits
You don’t see a calm leader trying to multi-task. Her to-do list will not be a mile long. The word time will not be used as if it’s a barrier between her and a fulfilled life.
She looks rested and you know that she went through her own self-care routine before she came to work. You know she wasn’t pounding away at emails to start the day.
She shares with you fascinating things which clues you in her world is big. Her conversations go far beyond the workplace and inspire and encourage you.
Throughout the day, you notice she takes breaks and gets outside. You never see her eating lunch at her desk or even saying she doesn’t have time for it. In fact, she’s probably taken snack breaks as well
5. Calm leaders don’t focus on problems
You’ll never hear her telling you discouraging stories over and over. Even if she’s not in the perfect role, she’ll make the best of it or she’ll take action (because remember calm leaders know which direction there going in and take wise decisions).
When she faces a problem, she sees the opportunity shining through it. So, she’s not just resilient, she’s what I read once in a book, she’s anti-fragile. She becomes stronger from them rather than just bearing through.
If you try to tell your story over and over to her, she’ll call you out from a place of compassion. She would’t want to see you suffer over and over reliving the same experience. Instead, she’ll guide you to find a solution.
6. Calm leaders don’t drown in self-doubt
A calm leader is confident in her abilities. Not that self-doubt may not pop up, she wouldn’t entertain it. She wouldn’t invite it in her home and let it stay for a few days. No. That self-doubt would be listened to, acted on, and then shown the door.
She knows that self-doubt is the opposite of her heart’s desire. It’s being selfish not selfless. Crawling up inside herself with those bad feelings does no one any good and forms a lifelong bad mental habit. She chooses love every time and an open heart.
7. Calm leaders don’t take on too much
A calm leader is not a victim of over-excitement or her job role. She knows her priorities and keeps her commitments to a meaningful few. Even if others have expectations, she can skillfully work with them to find alternative solutions. And, sometimes the case arises where she accepts that she can’t make everyone happy.
She feels when she’s got too much energy and avoids placing too much of her power in external things (even if they’re fun). In the end, she knows it feels frustrating to do so-so on lots of things instead of being fully engaged and inspired with a few.
Could leading calmly bring you the sense of purpose you desire?
With much experimentation, I can tell you yes.
What’s your view? I’d love to know.
If your answer is yes, please share in the comments one little step you could take today to increase your calm.
And, feel free to pass these thoughts along.